Best Parenting Tweets of the Week

Ahhh, parenting. It’s a lot of fun, and it can be a lot of work. But do you know what really makes parenting worth it? Kids being kids — when they’re at their funniest, that is. And because we can never get enough cute pictures of kids, these are some especially hilarious tweets from parents that’ll have you laughing out loud. Let’s get started!

“Parenting during the holidays is just a mix of threatening to call Santa while simultaneously trying to give your kids the best Christmas ever.”


“Decided to liven up the scrambled eggs this morning by adding a little spinach. Follow me for more tips on how to ruin an 8-year-old’s life.”


“As I was scrolling black friday toy deals, my six-year-old gasped at the prices, and promptly informed me she needed to lose more teeth.”


“My 4yo pretended she was a hired cleaner yesterday as. As she helped me clean, she asked if I had any kids. After telling her about my 2, I asked if she had any of her own. Turns out she has 5 kids and has been married to a man named Carlin for 30 years. You think you know someone.”


“I don’t know if this is good parenting, but we used Taco Bell to get our 3yo on a more convenient pooping schedule.”


“Hello. Young kids back in school are so sick right now. Everyone with a preschooler has an entire household of sleepless viral cough snot fevers for the past two months without a fucking break. So if you know a parent going through this, be kind and gently hit them with your car.”


“It’s New York spirit day at school. I suggested the Statue of Liberty. She wanted rats. Thanks for all the advice on this top secret project, friends!”


“My daughter’s still getting to grips with the ‘Would You Rather..?’ game. Today she asked me if I’d like to be eaten by a shark or have lovely dinners every day.”


“My toddler is pretending to cook a meal and it involves a lot of screaming and throwing food in a pot. She gets it.”


“My 5yo listens to lullaby versions of classic rock music to relax at bedtime and I’d like to think that one day when he grows up he’ll be in a grocery store, hear a familiar tune playing, and realize that he used to fall asleep listening to Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard.”


“My wife inexplicably waited to the last minute to tell me that my kids have dance class today. So annoying when she does this every week.”


“My 5yo is at school and I’m babysitting her babies. I was looking through the diaper bag she left me and all she packed was a corn, and 2 butterflies. What am I supposed to do with this?”


“12 is a wild age. My daughter will spend 15 minutes getting the part in her hair just right because “everyone will notice it” and then coordinate an outing where she and her friends all wear onesie pajamas and roller skates.”


“Welcome to parenthood. Your kids being too loud makes you crazy, but your kids being too silent makes you scared.”


“My 15yo convinced my 11yo to watch The Fly with him. Apparently, she loved it so much she wrote a review.”